The hope of spring

I slipped away from the noise and chaos.  As the front door shut behind me, the muffled sounds of the children continued in their play.  I sat on the front step, enjoying the calm and ignoring all that remained to be done behind me.  The flowers on the tree were bright in the warmth of the evening sun.  I thought of spring and renewal--of the glory and beauty of the earth's growth--of the exuberant joy of abundant life after simply survival.

And the Lord started to teach me.

In many ways, my life follows that of the trees and the flowers.  I have periods of simply survival.  Times when only that bare necessities matter, and, sometimes, even some of those don't get done.  These are the times that I drop the signs of abundant life.  Ponytails abound, dinners emerge from boxes, dishes and laundry erupt, and patience gets thin.  And then come the times when I shine.  I am put together, I invite others for dinner, and the children and I find adventures.  I am like that spring time tree.   Much of life is neither.  Much of life is the work of summer growing.  

I've known all of this before, only with different words.  But this time, I learned something new.  Each spring builds on the work of last summer and fall.  Each time I can go further, be more--more kind, more persistant, more full of faith, more orderly, more loving.  And those dormant times of survival, whether they come from moves or babies or trauma or doubt, are the reasons the spring is glorious and that I can grow.  And the times of plenty give me the reserves to weather the long winters that come.  This is how I grow.  This is how I become.  Each year adds another tiny bit that can add up to a beautiful tree that spreads beauty and shade to the weary nearby.   And each winter yields to the inevitable, if sometimes late, spring.

Somehow, the image of that ebb and flow of life was reassuring.  The hope of springs to come filled me with peace.  And as the muffled sounds of play became the muffled sounds of discord, I could return to face all that waited inside.

Foolish

This is the first year any of the children has caught on to the idea of April Fool's Day.  Miss M was enthralled.  It didn't help that her school teacher was helping her plan some of her deeds.  It all started the day before...

Miss M:  Young A, what is your favorite cereal?

Young A:  Oatmeal Squares.

Miss M:  Miss E, what is your favorite cereal?

Miss E:  Oatmeal Squares.

Miss M:  No, you have to choose something different.

Miss E:  Then Shredded Wheat.

Five minutes later, I catch Miss M in the kitchen switching the bags of cereal in the chosen boxes.  The idea was to have them discover her deed the next morning at breakfast.  Unfortunately, as we left to pick up the Professor from work, Young A decided to grab a handful of cereal to tide him over.  He stuck one in his mouth and was very confused.  It took a bit of explaining for him to understand why Shredded Wheat was in his Oatmeal Squares and where in the world his Oatmeal Squares were.

The next day, Miss M got home from school and very quickly asked for a glass of milk as she hurried past hiding something.  Later, I went into the kitchen to find a cup with "spilled milk" left on the table.  She had used glue and a plastic cup to imitate a spill.  She was quite proud of herself.

A bit later, Miss M came to me and asked, so I thought, "Mom, do you want a brownie?"  I figured something was up, but said yes.  I was handed a brown paper E.  How kind.

I must admit it's been fun.  When I realized that Miss M was conspiring before the day even came, I made sure to set a few expectations:  No mess and nothing mean.  She came through with flying colors.

Spinach pizza

One of my favorite dinners is spinach pizza.  I find it delicious, pretty, and satisfying.  Here's my recipe.

Spinach Pizza

Sauce

4 Tbs butter, softened

3 Tbs mayonnaise

2 Tbs grated Parmesan cheese

1 Tbs chopped fresh parsley (1 tsp dried)

1/2 tsp garlic salt

1/2 tsp dried onion

3 cloves minced garlic

Preheat the oven to 425°.

Prepare the dough for the crust.  I often use bread dough.  Spread the dough onto the pan.

Mix the sauce together.

Spread the sauce on the crust.

Chop two cups of spinach.  Spread on the sauce.

Sprinkle chopped tomatoes on top, if desired.

Cover with cheese.  I usually use mozzerella.  Sometimes I add some cheddar or Parmesan.

Bake for 10 minutes or until the cheese is just starting to brown.

Enjoy!

The school of life.

The Professor's father recently asked what I've learned in the past four years.  Here is a non-inclusive list.

I have learned about crossed eyes.

I have learned about buying houses.

I have learned about financing such a purchase.

I have learned that true change is possible.  People can overcome years of bad habits and weakness and become more Christ-like.

I have learned that it is important to allow people to change and to stop treating them as if they hadn't.

I have learned about elementary schools and preschools.

I have learned to be brave about using my simple Spanish with those who don't speak English, and that it is enough.

I have learned that I am part of the problem in my relationships.  I need the forgiveness of others as much as they need mine.

I have learned that the best choices for each person are different.

I have learned about death and grief, abuse and pain.

I have learned that our choices affect those around us profoundly.

I have learned that Christ heals us, even from the worst of life and that healing takes time.

I have learned that we are surrounded by people who are suffering, more than we can imagine.

I have learned that the Lord can use us to ease others' burdens, even if we don't know there are burdens.

I have learned that I can do hard things.

I have learned that anxiety and depression and phobias make daily life difficult.

I have been reminded that there are friends waiting to be made wherever I go.  And that making friends takes time but is very important.

Some family conversations.

A few days ago, we were driving in the car.

Miss E:  Mom, sometime I want to go to Petsmart and buy a unicorn.

Me:  Petsmart doesn't sell unicorns.

Miss E:  Then another store that does.

Me:  We can't buy a unicorn.

Miss E:  Why not?

Me:  Unicorns aren't real.  They are pretend.

A while later...

Miss E:  Mom, are monkeys real?

Today.

Miss E:  Mom, when I grow up, I want to be a princess....when I grow up I want to be a princess that rides a unicorn.

A conversation that happens often at our house.

The Professor:  Miss M, what did you learn at school today?  Did you learn how to read?

Miss M:  Daad, I already know how to read.

The Professor:  Did you learn how to add?

Miss M:  Daad, I already know how.

The Professor:  Then what did you learn?

A few weeks ago...

The Professor:  Miss M, what did you learn at school today?  Did you learn how to read?

Miss M:  You never give up, do you?

A few weeks ago, after touring the Draper LDS temple.

Me:  Miss E, how did you feel in the Celestial room?

Miss E:  Good as new... and happy, and quiet.

A few days ago.  Note:  A year or two ago, Young A often insisted that he didn't love me.  Only the Professor.

Young A:  Mom, I love you.  I love Dad, too, but I love you more because I spend more time with you.

Saturday, during our Pi Day celebration we sat down to eat pie.  We've had quite a few birthdays lately, so Young M thought he knew what was happening.  He started singing "Happy Birthday to You."

Spring is here.

These have been growing by my front door for the past week.  They have been joined by their white and golden cousins.  We have finally arrived at the point where any snow that comes won't stay long.

Ah, the joy of spring.

A chance to sing.

When we moved into our new ward (congregation, if you will), we were given work to do.  The Professor became the choir accompanist.  I enjoyed the sudden increase in music in our home, but I was a bit disappointed.  I really enjoy being part of the choir.  And I have found it one of the fastest ways to become acquainted with those around us.  But I couldn't figure out a way to both join the choir and watch the little ones.  So I waited and enjoyed being in the audience.

Recently, though, things have changed.  The Professor now gets to help keep the ward's finances in shape.  Suddenly, choir is fair game.  Of course, few choirs are happy to lose a tenor, so a compromise was necessary.  We trade weeks.  I like it.  He likes it.  Even the choir director likes it.  (Two for the price of one.  What's not to like?)  And I finally get to sing again.  I've missed it.