Come, not go

Another lesson I've been repeatedly reminded of in the years since that small two bedroom apartment we lived in is that children respond much better if we say, "Come," rather than, "Go."

As with most of these principles, I have an image associated with this one. It involves time-out or being sent to the corner or the bedroom. I have found that if I say, "Go to your room," I am much less likely to have either compliance or respect from the child. But if I say, "Come to your room" and walk them to the bedroom for some time to start over, things go much, much better.

Recently, Young A needed to put the clothes in his hamper in his drawers. This was so overwhelming to him, he refused. If I had demanded and pushed, we would have had tears and anger. Instead, I remembered this principle and said, "Come, let's go do it together." I went with him. He was able to help do the job. At the end of it, I had a happy, calm boy.

I've learned that the more often I say "come", the easier it is for my kids to handle the times I have to say "go". They trust me more and can help me better.